CORRUPTION is just everywhere.

Two weeks and a day of misery over a letter grade is just too much. Amid the sea of ‘A-‘s in my grade slip, who would have thought that an uninvited alien letter would exist. Yes, a notable D is a BIG mush pit in this paper island. F*CK! And hell, I got the grade just because I’m a DEVCOM student who does not deserve to be called an AGGIE alumni in three months time, or so I thought.

Sensual smoke

touch me through your eyes
your voice swing me
like a silhouette
flying back and forth

caress me with your
soul’s breath
swift your hair’s fingers
along my bare arms

curve your lips
to my lavish look
fragrance shall flow
smoothly for your sniff

lock your face
close to my ear

kiss me.

Oh Billy, I lost the game.

You win, I lose.

In a battle of two, when both are perfectly matched with powers on the same level, ONE should always have to be defeated. There may be different reasons behind the defeat but the person who lost the game was never too weak. It may be of a mistake causing one to fall and wallow in the mud.

Bamboo’s fault.

Talking to self:

“O, kay bilis namang maglaho ng pag-ibig mo, sinta.
Daig mo pa’ng isang Kisap-mata”

great.
what the hell was [it] doing in my head?
okay.

BAMBOO IS GREAT!

i luuuurrrvee him so much (including his mates!)

forget melancholic whatevers. It’s bamboo who deserves [the attention]
not any alien around.

i love this. i hate [it].

ahhh! scrambled brain. scrambled heart.

——-

“I don’t have enough strength to move away from you…”

uggggh!!! EDWARD IS MINE! (not ROB) BUT EDWAAAAARRRD!

I LOVE YOU MY VAMPIRE!

———

Paano kung hindi ka na..

The rosebushes of make-believe became bouquets
of real likeness.

And so I found myself deeply trembling beneath the wooden covers. Badly trembling again. I have wanted this all my one-month-long of staying out late in school. I’ve been – I guess – the witness of all the difficulties we have surpassed. The fire which stuck in our skins was at last, been at rest and far out-thrown.

The audience dipped their tongues out at laughing our serious indulgent of our successes. Yes, we were laid into the spotlight without some of these spectators knowing how far we have become and what kind of alienable things we have shed. I guess all of the Devcomm graduates became part of this exceptional trial. And we were one of those batches who were almost out of track. But thank God, we got out alive! We were there, witnesses of how the production became an inevitable performance. How it suddenly, or should I say, it became magical in the eyes of the many. I have heard no negative comments from the ones who watched us. Though, there were lapses, they were unnoticed and sealed from their eyes.

I LOVE OUR PRODUCTION SO MUCH that it hurts to let go of the moments that are starting to fade. Yes, we were obtuse but that made us all unique. That made us turn to ourselves and see through the edges. It was a great success. By far, it is the most unforgettable experience I will hold all my life.

DAWBI, mag re-run kaha mi??

*This is my chance to thank Nanette Matillac for a very wonderful storyline! Although you might not able to read this, I am deeply thankful of you for your approval and for making your story a part of our memorable moment.

Imposible nga ba?

Paano nga ba magawa ang imposible?
Kung ang lahat DAW ay posible?
Paano kung hindi mo man lang mayakap ang katotohanan?
At kung hindi mo matakbuhan ang kasinungalingan?
Paano kung hanggang doon na lang,
kung saan walang katuturan ang lahat ng posibleng mangyari.
Paano na ang imposible na pilit kinakamtan?
Paano?
Paano?
Paano ‘pag ito na ang katapusan?

—

i am a journalism student. but I never saw it winding up before me. i never really even thought that i could be a writer or that i can write. my works are often wounded with a lot of errors – and i’ve been too sad, too regretful that i thought i am better on the other side. but you see, afterglows are great especially when you tried giving up. I almost did. I almost dropped everything because I could not swallow “the tidbits of awful reality”.

my afterglow happened at appropriately 11:45 this morning. Ma’am Van, our journalism lecture instructress, showed me this site:

http://aggies.xu.edu.ph/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=184&Itemid=68

This might be so small to your eyes or too big for the ones who thought that I’m bragging. But I think you should know that this is my first published article (ever) on an online site that is not owned by me. I’m just ecstatically something. haha. call me a loser. I don’t care.

It’s raining tears.

The morning came and I had to be ready for school. I was so hesitant to attend my class (DC84 – Journalism) because I had a big fight with my bbf and my so-called ego is under the spell of hot, burning anger. But every time I get to these kinds of situations, I always remember that mistake I’ve made in high school. So, I chose to get up my bed and do the do’s. As I went up the hill to fetch a jeepney (ha-ha! like Jill came tumbling after… lalalala), I encountered a jeepney which was almost full but enough for me to join the passengers’ swarming butts. However, I was too lazy to join them because I wanted to sit on the corner and own it for half an hour in traveling. And so, I joined the alley’s next jeepney and there, I got the corner’s seat for free. Yey!

FATE is already my bestestfriend for always allowing me to see messages through actions and unexplainable coincidences. When I arrived at BDO (near XU), I realized that my bbf was walking in front of me! Uwwwwwwwwaaaaahh! All my plans on escaping from his/her view were gone from that moment! And so I decided to walk straight and pretended I didn’t see his/her big body blocking my way. I rushed ‘til I realized that I arrived in our room and smiled after noticing that he/she wasn’t there yet! Waaaaaaaah. And I was struggling on what to do next because any second he/she will be facing me and start his/her explanation. I had this single decision over the matter and it was (at that time) fixed. I was really fuming and there’s really no way of changing my decision.

Except that I’m too weak in handling bawling situations. I’m too weak that all the rages I feel can easily be tendered. And I love every human who have touched my life – especially my best bud forever (bbf). I guess you know now what happened. Obviously, we’re friends again!! yipeey!

—

About 4 hours ago, I was at Loreto’s to witness the ‘farewell’ party of one of the best teachers I’ve ever met. Before we went to the venue, we bought some flowers and cards for her. And everything that happened during the party was full of happiness mixed with craziness added with some ‘bulgaran’ issues and of course, tears. What struck me most is that she left words that are so significant to me – as her student (not only for values and things but also for life itself). That slight instant when she dubbed my name and explained why she will never forget me was like a chance to make me realize that everyone has their noteworthy place in the hearts of the many or even to countless beings. I realized my worth. I didn’t feel like crying, though. But you know that feeling when you are so honored because you’ve recognized a big part of yourself from a person you admire so much? Ahh, this is really so delightful and lovely yet so sad because she will be gone for another job. Oh, well. It’s part of life! But anyway, thank you Ma’am Lai! We love you!

it’s 12:51 am — OFF I SOULD GO!

A quick glance of bleeding fame.

Musolod na, kuya?
Ayaw sah kay ga set pa sila.
Aw. Sige.

later..

Ang naa na’y mic, sulod na.

I was holding it right within my fingers. The crowd went silent as we entered the stage. Lights off. No music. My head’s been shouting four letters: G-E-S-S! (God, Eye-to-eye contact, Smile, Straight body) I didn’t feel any pain during that slight moment before owning the spotlight. But when the light finally turned on, there, I almost forgot GESS. I was overwhelmed with the yells, with the flashes of cameras & the power of fear (in me). I can feel the pressure and it was pulling me out of the stage – I almost backed out right at that moment! I wanted to run backstage & never come back to school again.. However, it would be the most devastating act if I would not do it right then and there! I would fail all those who believed in my ability; in my skills and those who helped me climb that stage. I know I just have to do it – whether I ran out of air or went off-key, I didn’t care at all – I JUST HAVE TO DO IT. I felt all the tensions I’ve never felt for years. People who sat in front of me surely noticed it – the most shameful trembling of my whole body. I was FULL of EMOTIONS and it almost choked me. Yet, no one didn’t know how exactly I’ve felt. And I tell you, it was great. That was one of the times when I FELT MOST ALIVE — and ALL SEEMED REAL. Help me ring a bell again. IT WAS REALLY REAL. *brrrr* Allota thanks TITA DOI for fitting me into that wonderfully sown SEDUCTIVE IMAGE – some people will never ever know it was me. haha!

Off I should go!

PARAMORE ROCKS BIG TIME!

—

OMGawd! THIS VIDEO ROCKS SUPER BIG TIME!

I love how Haley reacted after ‘she’ pulled the silicon out from the b*thch’s bra. It’s a sweet & innocent smile/revenge or a quiet fight back to what that whore has been doing to the other girls around. The video just can’t get out of my system right now after I’ve watched it for 15+ times. LOL!

I AM INLOVE with PARAMORE. I AM INLOVE with HALEY! Got a problem with that?? ^.-

Cropped Poem

I saw her.
And my heart went wallowing again.
I saw her.
And my mind’s lost again.
They told me I am prettier.
But my eyes don’t lie
And I know she is prettier.
But my self choose to save my own lie.

—

these lines are the original starter of one of the poems I’ve posted here in my blog. Well, Dig deeper and you shall find out. *wink!*